How to Find Happiness

Knowing how to find happiness is important to you on all levels of your being. Happiness is a key indicator of your mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health.

Happy people statistically live nine years longer than less happy people and report 30% less illness.

They have healthier relationships and more money. They are more present, resilient and creative than those who are less happy.

Thanks to the hard work of researchers, the secret of how to find happiness is no longer a secret.

Philosophers, mystics, and others who reflect on how to find happiness have often been quoted. Their words of wisdom mirror what researchers now know to be true.

According to Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason, you can raise your happiness set points by implementing happiness habits. Choose the one you most need first, and add in others. Developing happiness habits can increase the amount of time we spend being happy. They raise our happiness set point so that our baseline level of happiness is greater.

The secret of how to find happiness is to create it. Happiness is a state of mind. To a great extent, it's an "inside job". This is good news because that means you have a significant measure of control over your level of happiness.

The Secret to Happiness

The first step in knowing how to find happiness is to understand what makes people happy. If you are someone who is saying "I want to be happy", this is a good place to start. Then the ten secrets below will make more sense.

Secret One
If you want to be happy for no reason, then take back your power. Give up the false illusion that your emotional state depends on someone or something else. Take responsibility for your thoughts, responses and actions. If you hear yourself saying, "I'll be happy if...", or "I'll be happy when...", you are setting yourself up for unhappiness.

Yes, it is helpful to have goals, but not to use your well-being and happiness as a motivator or reason to achieve them. Remove your resistance to accepting yourself and your current life.

This doesn't mean you want to stay like this forever. It means you are okay with yourself and love yourself today. What you resist, persists. Choose to be happy today. Look for how to find happiness in yourself regardless of your circumstances.

If you are satisfied with your life and situation, and your needs are being met, take the pressure off yourself to work more and earn more just to keep up with other people. It may be counter to what we we've been brainwashed to believe, but more money and all it buys is not what makes people happy in the long run. Running on the hamster wheel for the sake of impressing others is not how to find happiness.

According to Frederick Keonig,

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."

Secret Two
If you want to know how to find happiness, look inside yourself and around you. Practice gratitude throughout the day. This isn't about just being grateful for stuff, but for the simple things of life. If things aren't going as well as you'd like, find the silver lining in the cloud and be thankful for it. If you are on top of the world, be grateful for those moments.

Don't compare yourself with others to find them or yourself lacking. Just be grateful for what is. There is always something or someone to be grateful for. When you thank the universe for the goodness you do have, you open yourself to more. There is peace in gratitude. If you don't feel it at first, that's okay. Be grateful anyway.

Secret Three
You don't have to have all the answers. Sometimes having one true answer hardens expectations and doesn't allow you to be open to all the ways your 'I want to be happy' desire can manifest. Have a goal, work towards it, but detach emotionally from the outcome and how it evolves.

Goals take us in directions. Ask yourself, "I wonder what it would take to..." and then take a step or two in that direction today instead of complaining about not having it now. Celebrate the small steps you take. Enjoy the journey.

Here's another great question I learned from Maryam Webster, creator of the ETHOS method. "What generative energy, space and consciousness can I manifest to ____ (fill in blank with the solution you are wanting, not with the problem). Then use a clearing technique to release any blocks that wouldn't allow that to happen.

Secret Four
A major way be happy for no reason includes letting go of your blocks to love. You choose what you experience. As Dr. Phil often asks, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" Do you want to nurse your wounds or do you want to rise up and live and love life?

If you are holding on to past hurts, resentments and anger you are poisoning yourself. When you feel compassion, a healing takes place. This isn't to say that you should stuff negative feelings. That is a recipe for ill health. Feel your feelings fully and let them move on. Seek resolution if needed.

Learn to forgive yourself and others and release the past. Use clearing techniques like ho'oponopono, and/or Energy Psychology and Meridian Tapping Techniques to help you move forward. Get professional help if you need it. Do what it takes.

HH the Dalai Lama says,

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.

Practicing gratitude and forgiveness are two key habits of those you know how to find happiness.

Secret Five
Knowing how to find happiness isn't always about doing involved inner work. Much of it comes in small moments we might be tempted to pass by. You've heard the old saying, "Stop and smell the roses."

Allow yourself to slow down and enjoy little things. Listen to the birds sing. Smell the roses. Watch your child sleep. Go outside at night and look at the stars. Really stop and notice. Take it in, even for just a few seconds.

Anne Frank says

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature."

Continue reading five more secrets to happiness

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Additional Resources:

How to be happy in midlife, a must-have guide for women over 40.


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