How to Love Yourself

Learning to Love Yourself

Here are some helpful tips:

Reduce and eliminate stress as much as possible.

One definition of stress is that it is anything that is in opposition to love and oneness. It puts your cells in a protective, survival mode. Love heals when relaxed and in an open loving state. Then the cells have the energy and hormones necessary for growth and repair.

Learning how to love yourself is really about reducing this stress. The other tips also help you reduce stress, although at first your stress level might go up until you get used to making yourself a priority.

Cultivate positive, nurturing, healthy relationships.

The three most important factors in health, vitality,and longevity are feeling listened to, cared for, and supported.

Enlist the help of a trustworthy friend or professional. Explain that you that you are learning how to love yourself. Ask her/him to support you as you make self love a priority.

Enjoy the company of people and animals that support and love you. Forgive and heal relationships you value.

Treat people as you want to be treated. Perform random acts of kindness often for yourself and others.

Hug and touch those you love often.

All of these loving acts prompt the release the healing, protective love hormone, oxytocin into your body. This is one way that love heals using brain chemicals.

Evaluate relationships that are negative and stressful. Limit your time with these people as much as possible. Part of learning to love yourself is to establish healthy boundaries and be firm about them. Emotional or physical abuse of any kind is never loving. This includes manipulation, disheartening remarks, and putting you in an unsafe, unhealthful environment.

Attend to your environment

There is some truth to the statement that says, "If you look good you'll feel good." This applies to yourself and your space. You don't have to have a beautiful big home to create a lovely environment for yourself and your family.

Get rid of clutter. Clutter is stressful and limits your ability to expand into what you want. Ditto for dirt and messy areas. A vase with a single flower or a well-cared for potted plant can lift your spirits and add life to your home.

Create areas of sacred space. Include meaningful items related to your spiritual practice, favorite memories, and loved ones.

Add a personal touch to your work space. Wear clothes that you love and reflect who you really are. A few well-chosen pieces can make you feel much better about how you look than a whole closet full of unworn items. If you don't feel good in it, get rid of it.

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.

Be kind, forgiving and honest with yourself. Be generous to yourself with your appreciation and time. If you are not sure how to love yourself, it may help to make a list of the top ten way you want to be treated by others. Then cultivate those traits in yourself so that you can treat yourself that way.

An added bonus is that when you know how to love yourself, you naturally begin to treat others with those same kindnesses. And they will generally reciprocate in kind. You will attract more loving people into your life.

Accept yourself

This is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Accepting yourself doesn't mean settling for being or having less than you want. It means that you know how to love yourself despite your perceived shortcomings. You love and are okay with yourself and your body no matter what.

It's easy to love what you like about yourself, but to truly love yourself you love all of you. It goes deeper than just accepting your "parts". You love the entire essence of yourself.

Practice mindfulness. This is also about loving and accepting loving yourself exactly as you are. Focus on exactly what you are feeling in the moment. Notice and focus on what you feel.

Noticing and awareness transforms and shifts your energy. Have the intention that you are going to stay with these feelings no matter what, just like a good friend. Part of learning to love yourself is allowing yourself to feel whatever you are feeling.

You may find that once you love and accept yourself unconditionally that it is much easier to make the changes you desire and move forward. Like most of us, you probably made lots of choices you now regret and are in some way "paying for". That's okay. It is what it is. Today is a new day. Let go of that stress and begin again.

Change your negative limiting beliefs

The negative beliefs you have about yourself and the world produce major blocks when it comes to learning how to love yourself. You may have had several of those beliefs running through your mind when you read the last two paragraphs. Write them down.

Negative thoughts take many forms, but they all have the same effect. You feel badly about yourself. You may sabotage your efforts to take care of yourself and fulfill your conscious desires. These attack thoughts sound like this: 'I hate my thighs, nose...', 'I don't deserve, am not worth...', 'I'm alone, unloved, no good...'

Do what you love

Don't wait until the stars line up a certain way, or until your ducks are in a row. Don't wait until everyone else is taken care of. Put yourself first. Have fun. Do something for yourself every day. You are worth some of your own time and effort.

The most loving thing you can do for yourself is to do what matters most to you. This usually brings peace of mind. Do what brings you the greatest joy and meaning in your life everyday.

Caveat: Be free of guilt. You don't have to justify practicing self-love. Love heals. If the thought of loving yourself makes you feel uncomfortable, visit the Emotional and Mental Healing Guide. Use some of the techniques to help you shift these negative thinking patterns.

Take care of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs.

Reduce and eliminate the habits, thoughts, and behaviors in your life that are stressful. Introduce new habits, thoughts, and behaviors into your life that promote health and support your true desires.

Improve your eating habits. Exercise a few times a week. Stop dangerous habits like smoking, doing drugs, driving too fast and stressing out over little things. Do something nice for yourself instead.

Unload your emotional baggage. Forgive yourself and others. Cultivate a relationship with the divine or God in whatever way feels right for you. Pray, meditate, connect with nature. Express gratitude often.

Take a course, read an inspiring book, invest in coaching or a wellness program. Take a vacation. Take control of your finances. Do what you need to do to act in loving ways toward yourself. Even small steps reap big rewards.

Be outside and appreciate nature and natural beauty.

Nature is probably the best form of love. Nature realigns the molecules of the body in a more harmonious manner. Enjoy a time of earth energy healing and grounding when you're outside.

Now that you know how to love yourself, make self love a priority. In the long run, loving yourself first may be the very best thing you can do for yourself and for those you love. It will improve your health, your meaningful relationships, and your quality of life.

Read more about Why Love Heals.