Mastering simple, but not always easy anger management techniques can help you gain perspective, tame your temper, and respond in proactive, not reactive ways to stressful situations before anger takes control of you.
These methods are useful whether you need to quell in-the-moment angry feelings or those that have been simmering for a long time. Knowing how to deal with anger can save you from over-reacting and saying or doing something you know you will regret later.
When anger is under your control, (instead of the other way around) you can be proactive instead of reactive. Instead of being at the mercy of your feelings, you will have the ability to access them and make them work for you, not against you. Even intense feelings you might label negative can have a positive influence in motivating you to make your situation better.
Anger management techniques are not just for letting go of anger in the heat of the moment. They are healthy habits that reduce your chances of accelerating unpleasant conflicts while providing the opportunity to get your needs, and the needs of others involved, to get your needs met in positive, helpful ways. They help protect your health from damaging stress hormones associated with the fight response and help prevent your emotions from escalating into more intense rage or spiraling down into suppressed, depressed feelings.
Some of these strategies are helpful when needed in the moment. Others are great for healing anger by neutralizing your triggers permanently. When the trigger is gone, you will not respond in your usual way, if at all. That's why cultivating awareness of your triggers and what is behind them is an important first step to managing anger.
These anger management techniques are simple, but not always easy. They are helpful for diffusing angry feelings in the moment.
As soon as you notice the signs of rising anger in your mind and body and your inner child is ready to have a temper tantrum, use one or more of these strategies.
If your verbal conflicts sound anything like those you witness on reality TV shows, you know how easy it is to digress into verbal assaults, including yelling, name calling, insults, and saying horrible things you wish you could take back.
Instead, put these conversational anger management techniques into practice.
Tip: If you or the other person are feeling too worked up in the moment, set a time to talk or resume the conversation when everyone is calm. It is difficult to stay out of reactivity when you feel stressed and worked up. When you converse, set some ground rules, such as no yelling, no name calling, eye rolling, etc.
Healing anger triggers permanently is possible while still honoring your boundaries. With commitment and practice, you will become less reactive and more at peace within yourself and with others. Chances are that by putting these anger management techniques to work, you will actually feel more in control and enjoy happier emotional states. When you are calm and assertive, you have a better chance of expressing your needs and getting them met.
The following methods are not specific to healing anger issues. Rather, they will help you neutralize negative feelings around emotionally charged incidents so that it is easier and more natural to respond appropriately in difficult situations. When the memories are no longer emotionally charged and the triggers are neutralized, anger will naturally subside and you will be better able to be proactive and express yourself in affirming ways.
Letting go of anger and healing anger issues is a gift you give to yourselves and others. Understanding your anger and using anger management techniques is important for mental and emotional healing. It may take you to some uncomfortable shadow parts of yourself in the process, but the reward of a healthier, calmer, more peaceful, less reactive self is well worth it.
Anger management techniques page updated 10/2020
For Educational Purposes Only. This information has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or medical condition. Please consult with your health provider before using natural remedies and/or complementary therapies if you are pregnant, nursing, or you are being treated for a medical condition. Be aware that certain herbs and supplements interact with medications.
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