How Gratitude Helped Me Love My Son, Keep My Son and Get Out of Jail.
by Michelle
(Las Cruces, NM USA)
My mommy and my baby boy!
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It was 2006 and I was a wild one. Traveling from Las Vegas to San Diego to New Orleans and I was ALWAYS high. I never thought about anybody else but myself and my drug. I made my precious mother worry about me which did not help her illness!
I was living in New Orleans when 2007 came around and I had stopped using. I had not stopped being selfish though! But one night as my friend was driving along the small highway in St. Bernard Parish, I noticed the sunset and how beautiful it was. I noticed the green grass that covered the land and it continued as far as my eye could see. I noticed the water that surrounded us and the bridges that connected one city to the next. I felt overwhelmed and I did not know why.
A day later I felt an urgency to go back home to see my precious mother who was very ill and I did. I made it back although I did not make it all the way to Las Cruces. I had some warrants for my arrest so I decided to stay in El Paso and work at the club. I would visit my mother, but my visits were short because of the way the police would always stop by looking for me.
I really had not changed. I was back but I was back to my old ways and I had found out that I was pregnant. I went crazy and I made an appointment to not have it! I was not ready for responsibility nor was I ready to quit my drugs! The appointment was for the next morning and with that I went to work at the club. I would never see the next morning as a free girl. I was picked up by the police at 7:00 pm and by 7:30 pm I was being booked into the correctional facility in Las Cruces. What was funny though, I was being held on a probation violation and I had NEVER BEEN ON PROBATION. I had never been convicted of anything at that point. The judge who could have fixed that mix up was conveniently on vacation. So, I was stuck there with no way out and I was 2 months pregnant. I DID NOT WANT THAT BABY!!
The more I expressed my feelings of wanting an abortion, the more I received no visits or information from my lawyer and I sat there for 3 long months. With no clue about anything but that this baby was growing in my belly I sat and prayed. I cried and prayed to God for help and my baby moved. I fell in love with my baby at that instant! What a love!!! The love for my baby was so great I could not even contain myself! I thanked the Lord for my baby and thanked Him and thanked Him and thanked Him and the next morning my God opened those jail doors and I was sent home to my mommy!!
I was grateful for the blessing the Lord had given me!! The Lord gave me my baby and I was able to go home and care for my mommy until she passed away not too long after. I thank my God for giving me my beautiful son and for allowing me to be with my mommy at the end of her life!
Thank you for allowing me to testify!! I try my best to keep my attitude of gratitude because it makes my life so much better!!
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